Letter to aam politician - 1
Hello sir, back after fierce campaigning in UP? How is the Maharashtra election results making you feel? I know you won’t reply to this question as you could be shut down by the govt. of India. That brings me to the new point, the Govt. of India should be renamed to ‘Govt. to annoy rest of the world by begging for apologies’, no? Anyway sir-ji, I hope all the election campaigning completes before the cruel summer, as your ripped body would find it tough to fight heat. Apart from wiring money to tax havens and changing the last names of your 8 and 10 grand sons to the father of the Nation’s and fighting a family feud over control of the ‘setting Sun’ tv, I hope you can donate me ten minutes of your time to read this post.
Dear sir-ji, let me start with a small rant on what I thought about the mega-news going around these days in the morning papers. What Mr. Kapil Sibal-ji said about social networks is absolutely correct. Facebook, twitter, google+ and the new pintrest are all about unification of thoughts. How can this blasphemy be let to happen? Haven’t his party given countless lives to divide India along the lines of caste, creed, language, river water, electricity, religion, cuisine, reservation, novelists, journalists, highways, sewers, cine actors, cine actresses, juice shops, hair saloons, men’s underwear hoooooh(need to catch a breadth), so they could continue the ‘divide and rule’ policy the fair rulers imparted to the founding fathers? He should not stop there. I will support Sibal-ji if he moves forward on quest towards more censorship. He should censor the ISPs(airtel, reliance, BSNL) for allowing the damned content to be browsed, the keyboard makers for making keys that would type offensive content, the ethernet cable makers for carrying the message to networks, for computer manufacturers to enable the plagiarists, hell why leave the container lorries/auto rickshaws that deliver them to homes. Jai Kapil Sibal-ji.
Coming to the next news, I wanted to discuss something positive, like taking a leaf out of your book. You guys have displayed yet again why we idolize you. Viewing softporn(hardcore,S&M? come on you) in Assembly? Hats off to you. While we were blessed with corporal punishment by scornful teachers for discussing cricket during maths classes we needed a hero for motivation. We have you. Also in this country where discussing physical relationship is a scandal, young adults had to turn toward red-tube and co to understand what the fuck sex is all about. How do newly weds know what to do during their first night together(or first dates)? Write exams without classes? Thanks for motivating them too. Kudos.
You have shown us the true meaning of the phrase ‘the day has not yet ended’, with the minister of the house leading by fine example.
He followed it up with ‘an hour alone inside a closed court' episode that made me get goosebumps. He is the man, the t-1000 who would come back even if disintegrated by thousand degree fire. Probably he would be the best person to take over the stupid BCCI and it's aggravating comments and bring the dwindling Indian cricket team some more victories. He could talk to the OZ cricket team and every Australian minister 'inside the closed rooms of Adelaide and Melbourne' so the results would turn from massive 'defeat' for India to massive 'victory'. Go minister of house for next BCCI president.
P.S Anyone who wants to collect my letters for the ‘letters from a bored IT guy’ book that’d be published on 2040, email me.